Becoming the best version of oneself isn’t something that happens over night. Discovering who you were born to be is a lifetime quest, one I believe that challenges, scares and changes you in ways you didn’t think possible or indeed necessary.
I’ve come to understand that most people have never met the best of who they are. This is because of how most of us are are raised and taught as children. We are not taught who we are, but rather what we should do. The problem with this is, if I don’t know ‘who’ I am, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever know ‘what’ I’m supposed to do. Because it’s ‘who’ I am that gives ‘what’s do significance.
All of us come into here with a purpose wired into our DNA. Just as an acorn has wired within it, everything it needs to be to grow into an oak tree, so we have within our DNA who we have the capacity, ability and power to become.
Part of my role through ELevate is introducing women to the best version of themselves. It is the most enlightening, empowering and wondrous moment, when after 20, 30, and in some cases 60 plus years women come face to face with their true selves. Not the one warped, boxed in and fashioned by society, but the beauty of who they really are and have always been.
I believe I have one of the most precious jobs in the world. For I have been given the most amazing grace of being able to help women on their quest of self. And there after to rehabilitate them back to their born character.
For many women it is a liberating and exciting feeling. While for others, though liberating, it can be extremely emotional and challenging. Like a child recognising themselves in a photo for the first time. “Is that me? Wow!”
I remember the first time I introduced a group of women to themselves, the room exploded with laughter, screams, tears and wailing. I was so shocked!! I knew the exercise was a powerful one, but I really wasn’t expecting the response it engendered. Ever since then, I prepare the room with plenty of tissues, time and water.
Women are wonderful beings, so willing to make themselves vulnerable if it means they’ll grow.
The entire planet suffers when we fail to discover and live out the best versions of ourselves. world suffers, but when we find and engage in our best version, everything begins to fall into place. Indeed we become one with ourselves, our fellow man and the planet.
I’ve written a list below, indicating where to begin. Please let me know if you require further help.
1. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable
An unwillingness to embrace vulnerable will prevent you from the change required for your life
2. Break with tradition
Tradition are good in their respective place. However traditions are often the enemy to change. They are rooted in a bygone age that often won’t support you discovering the best of you. Here’s my rule of thumb when judging whether the tradition I am upholding is viable
Does it silence my voice?
Does it feed into dogma?
Does it support the agendas of others, but imprisons me to rules and regulations
Does it support, develop and celebrate my uniqueness?
3. Be honest
There’s an old saying that goes “to thine own self be true” with honesty comes freedom. Being honest about where you are right now is a good start to shifting you to where you need to be.
4. Work on ‘who’ before ‘what’
Don’t spend endless hours trying to discover your purpose. What’s important is the person. Don’t discover who you are first and you’ll never have to question what you’re supposed to be doing.
5. Hire a coach
I always say “why try and find the way, when you have a GPS?” A coach is a life GPS, they’ll save you hours of stress and struggle trying to find your ways
6. Be willing to let go of prior learning
Accepting that what you know may have been good for where you were, but not for where you’re going is a great place to start. Be brave enough to approach some aspects of your life as a learner not a teacher.
7. Commit to you
It’s so funny how we often find it easier to commit to the needs and desires of others, but not our own. And yet if I am to be of any value to you, I must first of have been of value to myself. For it impossible to give what you don’t possess. Committing to you means doing whatever you need to do for you in order for you to grow and develop.
8. Be willing to be guided
This is similar to number 5, however outside of a coach, guidance comes to us in many mediums. Life is a teacher and will guide you, if you’re listening. Failure will guide you and teach you, if you are listening. Mistakes and heartaches will guide you, if you listen. Understand that in order for you to grow, you must be teachable and in order to be teachable you must be humble.
9. Be patient with you
Good and often great things are revealed and given to those who exercise patience. Being patience isn’t something that feels good, but its rewards far outweigh the discomfort of engaging in it. You will gain more by being patient, than what you will by rushing along,
10. Be ready for people not to like the best version of you
Personal change will present a whole new you to your world and that will not always make those around you happy. Yes, there will be those who will embrace the best version, but others will object, be offended and cry for the old you. Under no circumstances must you yield to their calls.
11. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable for a bit
We all enjoy comfortable, indeed we are quick to complain if we are not given comfortable. In fact, the western society is geared to make life as comfortable as possible for us. The problem with that is not much grows in a comfortable zone.
Thus if the best version of you is to emerge, you must get ready to experience a level of discomfort, for out it will emerge a better you.
The best version of you, is what you’re supposed to be living, settle for no less.